Feeling blue and how to get out of it
From heartbreak to self-doubt, everybody feels a little blue sometimes, so I talked to a few classmates that have been through it and they provided a few tips on how to deal with it. Feeling blue I feel comes from either losing someone, either physically or emotionally, both or losing yourself.
BREAK UP - Anonymous
A lot of people think breakups are only from romantic relationships, but that's not true. Breakups can also be from friends, family, and even just colleagues, regardless, an anonymous student told me about the stages of heartbreak he has gone through and how he deals with each of them.
The first stage is sadness, for which he suggests going to a bar, hanging out with friends, venting, crying, and just letting it out. Let yourself feel. It's totally normal and okay to be sad.
Denial- give yourself time to think and accept the truth, stop going to the bar so much. This is a complicated stage since not wanting to accept what happened can mess with your brain, it’ll pass.
Anger- break things (safely) is necessary, throw something, let it out, just don’t hurt anybody or yourself.
Acceptance, the last and most important stage. Once you’ve come to terms with it, get on with your life. It's over, deal with it. Start getting back on everything that makes you YOU and feel better about it. We are individuals who are independent and can be by ourselves.
BODY DYSMORPHIC – Noah D.
Not feeling comfortable in your own body is an issue that follows some people around for their whole lives.
Well, I spoke to Noah who shared a little bit of his story about being born in the wrong body and things
he has done to help himself feel better and happier in the body that he has. When Noah was 14 it started to bother him the most but was trying to prove to himself that he was not who he is, denial. He learned what being trans is because of a YouTube video, he could relate and felt heard and understood, before that he thought he was just weird.
It wasn’t until he was 16 he officially came out, “family was the hardest, it was intense.” Noah’s advice for coming out is to have a social transition be the first thing you do but only do it if it's in a safe environment because you don’t want to get yourself hurt. Talk about it with the people closest to you, it will help both sides understand and act the best possible way.
"I'm still transitioning, it’s just the beginning”, transition in every way is a process, it takes time, but, taking it step by step will get you to the desired place. Try small things such as buying transitioning products to help you be more comfortable and make you feel better about yourself.
TOXIC ENVIRONMENT - Narissara N
At 17, Narissara moved to Canada. This obviously caused a lot of change in her life both mentally and physically. One of those physical changes was starting to break out, for which her mother started to shame on, telling her to wear makeup and change her appearance. This caused insomnia and lack of sleep. After struggling with how she felt about herself because of this, she realized that it was a toxic environment.
What helped her come to this realization was surrounding herself with supportive family members and talking to people outside of her regular group. Talking to them helped her realize that there are people who love you just the way you are and who will always be there for you. “You can always walk away”, someone else is going to be there to listen. Put yourself first. “It's not selfish to set boundaries”.
Breaking out of a toxic environment sounds and can be very hard to do, but once you do it you will feel so much better and relieved, since you are now bringing in positive, supportive, and loving outside energy that will help you grow.
OUT OF MY MIND – Zach W.
A struggle that is not talked about enough is feeling lost in your own mind, not really knowing what's going on inside your own head. In Zach’s first year of high school, he started feeling anxious and overthinking about what the next step was. This has been following him around to this day.
There are a few things he now incorporates into his everyday life to help him either as he's struggling, or if he knows a rough patch is coming. Being productive, cleaning your room, doing groceries, and meal prepping. As small as these steps may seem “becoming present so that there is some sort of control over the future” can help you get ready for the next days and weeks, so you are prepared for tasks that might seem a bit difficult in the coming days.
Refresh, re-start your week and figure yourself out, remember that starting a new routine does not have to happen on Mondays in the morning, set a time that works for you. “Don't wait for opportunities, make them.”
Connecting mind-body-soul, getting in touch with what your needs are, and knowing yourself and your self-worth, are the first steps into becoming the best version of you.
I want to thank everyone who shared their experience and was willing to help.
Remember that we are all different and are having our own individual experiences in the world, but hopefully, you can find comfort knowing that you are not alone and there are ways to get out of the blues.