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  • Esty Rosenfeld

Quarantine Thoughts

This morning I woke up and I almost didn’t want the sun to shine

It’s as if time and space are null and void

Time is being gouged until it’s just an illusion where morning and night meet

Where content and overwhelming emotions meet

Where my sanity and safety converge into one and it feels as though they are the same thing

I am like a reservoir and my eyes are fountains

Today, I’m moving my tears away to make space for more

Today, I am fright ridden yet so serenely calm all at once

They say we never had control of our lives and it was always just an illusion

But I want my lucid illusion of the world to become a reality

To become my reality

Because in reality, I am not asking why this is happening or how this could’ve happened

The reality is, I do not want to play a worldwide game of survival of the fittest because I know too many people who would loose

I want to dance to the rhythm of my very breath that I am so damn thankful for because

With every sigh of distress and with every sigh of relief I know that I am just as alive as always

And that this too shall pass

Tonight, when the sun will set, the midnight glow of the moon will keep me up and I’ll be wondering what will be

But I know for sure that tomorrow will bring a new day

The sun will rise and set dozens of times more over the world

No, even more than that

The world has come to a standstill but my world keeps spinning until I’m dizzy to the point of nausea

I sit with my head between my knees to ebb the flow of my tears and my thoughts that keep springing up on me

Catching me by surprise as if I did not see nor feel it coming

And none of us saw this coming, it reared up on us all as unexpectedly as it shouldn’t have

But I stopped planning my life long before this all went down

We’re all in the same boat

But today, mine is riding in my river of tears

And that’s okay

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