This morning I woke up and I almost didn’t want the sun to shine
It’s as if time and space are null and void
Time is being gouged until it’s just an illusion where morning and night meet
Where content and overwhelming emotions meet
Where my sanity and safety converge into one and it feels as though they are the same thing
I am like a reservoir and my eyes are fountains
Today, I’m moving my tears away to make space for more
Today, I am fright ridden yet so serenely calm all at once
They say we never had control of our lives and it was always just an illusion
But I want my lucid illusion of the world to become a reality
To become my reality
Because in reality, I am not asking why this is happening or how this could’ve happened
The reality is, I do not want to play a worldwide game of survival of the fittest because I know too many people who would loose
I want to dance to the rhythm of my very breath that I am so damn thankful for because
With every sigh of distress and with every sigh of relief I know that I am just as alive as always
And that this too shall pass
Tonight, when the sun will set, the midnight glow of the moon will keep me up and I’ll be wondering what will be
But I know for sure that tomorrow will bring a new day
The sun will rise and set dozens of times more over the world
No, even more than that
The world has come to a standstill but my world keeps spinning until I’m dizzy to the point of nausea
I sit with my head between my knees to ebb the flow of my tears and my thoughts that keep springing up on me
Catching me by surprise as if I did not see nor feel it coming
And none of us saw this coming, it reared up on us all as unexpectedly as it shouldn’t have
But I stopped planning my life long before this all went down
We’re all in the same boat
But today, mine is riding in my river of tears
And that’s okay
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